Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I'm Not Intentional

So here's the truth.

I have good intentions, but I'm not very intentional.  At 28 years old, I'm just now starting to realize the difference and how damaging replacing the word "intentional" with the words "good intentions" can be.

Here's the difference:

If I have good intentions, I make decision to spend time with my six year old, and I follow through with the good intentions by letting him play in the yard while I browse Facebook and watch him, smiling and nodding...and every few minutes throwing a glance his way so it seems like I'm paying attention.

If I am intentional, I make the decision to spend time with my six year old, and I follow through with being intentional by playing with him in the yard, engaging him, and putting my own selfish desires and wants aside, while I make him a priority.  I make him my sole focus for the period of time I intentionally set aside.

When I said I have good intentions, I meant that I have WAY more days that resonate with the first example than I do the second.

Wow.  Just typing those words hurt.  And to think, that's just one example of the many every day occurrences that I have good intentions for but am not intentional about.

So here I am, attempting to write about living life intentionally.  At first, I thought, "I suck at being intentional about anything.  That's the last thing I should blog about."  But then it occurred to me that maybe a blog is what I need to hold myself accountable.  Maybe there are others out there who are struggling with the same "good intentions" that I am.  Maybe, if I start a blog about how I'm being more intentional rather than having good intentions, others can relate, and tell me I'm not alone.  Maybe I'll find a bunch of "good intention-ed"  people out there who can band together with me and we can learn together how to live life intentionally.

So here's to a new start, and new day, and a new way to live.  Intentionally.